The Dance Continues
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by Susan Arnsten-Russell - susanarnstenrussell.com

There is an individual, a man, with whom I can communicate completely
nonverbally when we dance together.  We also communicate verbally but
our verbal conversation are an entities onto themselves.  These verbal
conversations are not used to review/revisit/explain our nonverbal
conversations.

The nonverbal communications do not need to, and cannot, be explained/
reviewed/revisited because these nonverbal communications are initiated
and comprehended in that part of the brain where words do not exist.

At first I did not realize the clarity that this nonverbal communication
was able to achieve.   I did not realize how expressive and direct a
movement conversation could be.  I did not realize that the connection
that is established when two people are really dancing with each other was
capable of such depth until I danced with this particular individual,
this man.   When we did have verbal conversations it was as though
we already knew all about each other.  Not a lot had to be said about
certain things and instead we were able to enjoy verbal conversations
for their own sake.

We danced together in an environment conducive to improvisation.
We danced long dances together.  We participated in ensemble dancing,
dancing our duet and welcoming a third person so that we became a single
entity made up of three individuals, dancing with an entire room full
of people who recognized themselves as a community of dancers, dancing
in groups of three and four and five and six, groups that evolved and
changed as one person moved on and another joined in, dancing together
again and again over the course of a week .

We hadnīt seen each other for a year.

(A year ago he was one of the people who directly stated to me that
dancing with me was an intensely physical, and extremely sensual
experience, without containing the potential for evolving into
sexual connection.   That space in my life is filled, I responded.
You communicate that clearly, he told me.  Later it occurred to me that
communication is only possible with someone who is willing to listen.)

The dance continues, I said to him the first night.  (We were once again
in a place where we would have the opportunity to dance together.)

Several days later I looked at him with the sudden realization that
I had integrated some of his most significant experiences of the last
year into my understanding of who he was without him having to give me
a verbal recitation of his story.

I looked at him and smiled.  I said a name.  The name was all I needed
to say to communicate that I was aware that he was in love with some one
who loved him and had become the individual with whom he was experiencing
sexual intimacy.

After we were dancing last night the thought came to me that I should
tell you that I love you, he said.

I think you already have, I responded.  The love he communicated to me
was did not require me to be anybody but who I am.  This love included
my family, my children and my chosen life companion, as extensions of
myself while at the same time recognized me as an individual.  This love
included an appreciation of, and respect for, my spirituality as expressed
through the traditional religious rituals I have adapted and assimilated.
This love was genuine and cannot be expressed in words.

Dance is a legitimate and important form of communication.

It is not a vehicle for finding a sexual partner anymore then verbal
conversation is a vehicle for finding a sexual partner.  However, in the
same way that verbal communication can enhance a connection between two
people who are sexual partners, dance can also.  I often dance with my
sexual partner and when I dance with him I discover new depths to the
connection between us that cannot be separated form the fact that we
are sexually intimate with each other.

The dance continues.

-- Susan Arnsten-Russell - http://susanarnstenrussell.com/